Bad Dreams

Ugh. I have been consistently having bad dreams every night! They cover a range of things and I have no idea why I have them. It is very frustrating. I am not super stressed out or very anxious about anything or worried about anything, so I dont know why they keep happening. I would assume to just not dream at all at this point. I dont know if this happens to any of you, but sometimes I wake up still in a bad mood or mad at whoever did something in my dream and it so hard to shake those feelings. It sounds crazy, I know but it can really mess with my day! Then it's not fair to John at all because he gets the brunt of it all :(

John and I get to go to lunch with each other most days at this point, which I LOVE! But now I have gotten in a bad habit about telling him those dreams and just other stuff that has happened in the day already. It does not do a lot to put him in a good mood or lift mine :(.

Today for example, we went to lunch and on the way to lunch I shared with him that my grandma's husband Roy is in the hospital :( He has an infection in one of his toe's and they put him on medicine for it. Well his nose started bleeding the other day and he lost 2 pints of blood! So obviously he went to the hospital. There was some sort of reaction with the medicine and his blood thinning medicine. Now they are going to have to take off part of his toe because the infection is so bad. He is currently in ICU and they are not sure how well he is doing yet :( That just made me really sad and scared. I dont want to lose anyone else. Not yet. Then yet lunch I told him about one of my bad dreams and it was just all that I told him was negative. I didnt mean for it to be. I am just in a funk today :(. and of course it put him in one too.

I think the reason for mine after thinking about it is because of Roy's condition. It just makes me think about what if he died too. I just makes me miss my dad so much again. I feel awful because I feel like John is always taking care of me. He is a wonderful husband and puts up with so much. It's just feel like its not fair to him sometimes. I guess that's what marriage is about though, taking care of each other when we really need it. I am really lucky.