Inspiration

So this morning, while I should have been working (I actually did get a lot of work done!) I snuck on pinterest for a moment. HA. A moment on pinterest? yea, right.

Sometimes when I go to the site- I have to log on- duh. Well before you are made to log on, you can see some awesome things that people have pinned. Then I log in and cant find them anymore! It breaks my heart. Well today I clicked on one and opened it in another browser before I signed in. I am a genius!

There is a point to this story. I promise.

The link I happened to open up led to this girls blog: http://www.canyoustayfordinner.com/

I started to read her story and WOW- what an amazing story. She's lost 135lbs. You heard me right! 135lbs! Her blog shares how she started, how she got there, recipes, and that loving yourself is more important than any number on a scale or how many miles you run. I cried at parts (are you surprised?) and I laughed, but mostly I learned a lot.

I learned that I need to love myself the way I am now. I need to enjoy my life. I am SO tired of counting every calorie and hating myself when I mess up. Do I want this weightloss journey that has lasted my entire life to be over- yes, but maybe it doesnt all happen in the next 4 months (hah! like that was going to happen anyway). Maybe I dont panic when John and I go on a date and order an appetizer that tosses me over my calorie count for the day. Maybe I dont freak out when I dont go running one day, when really all I want to do is sleep in. Maybe I readjust how I plan to lose weight.

What if I ate healthier, actually ran like I planned on (I do enjoy it now), and didnt eat SO much on the weekends? What if I dont let one mess up be my downfall for the entire weekend? I am GREAT during the week. The weekends are what kills me. Honestly, I think that once I have gone over my calories for the day, I just give up. I get bored, I get lonely, and I really just love food. BUT what if I didnt analyze EVERY calorie that goes in my mouth? What if I stopped talking about losing weight all the time...GASP!...can I actually do it? Maybe I pick the foods I really love and find a way to make them healthier? I know it can be done- this girl did it! and lives it everyday.

I honestly cant imagine my life without talking about losing weight. Without counting each calorie I put into my body. I want to be free from these thoughts. They haunt me day and night. They also haunt John because he has to listen to me :(

So my new plan is to have the strength and courage to NOT talk about losing weight all day and night. To NOT count my calories, but at the same time be mindful of what I am eating and how bad or good it is for me. To try new recipes that will be healthy for me. To run about 5 times a week. To not fall apart when I do eat something that "im not supposed to" and to not let that unravel all my hard work. My new plan is to break free from dieting and never losing weight and changing my lifestyle. I really want to enjoy my life and not freak out all time and not be obsessed with losing weight (yes, I still am aiming to lose weight, but I dont want it to be the focus of my world).

I am TERRIFIED though. I said it before- this has been my life for as long as I can remember. Can I do it? On that note my verse of the week is Deuteronomy 31:6 "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

So with the Lord at my side and inspiration from Andrea, I am going to try to have the strength and courage for this new adventure!