Direction

I feel like I have so much to say, but I’m not sure how to gather my thoughts or where to start writing. So please, bear with me.

I mentioned in a past post that I have been praying for direction in mine and John’s lives. We have really enjoyed our time down here, but feel that there isn’t a whole lot left down here for us. Plus, we miss our home and family and friends. Please note that we have truly enjoyed living down here and there is SO much more we want to do! But in the growing aspect of our lives, that’s where we feel there isn’t much. Well we decided to pray about it and I started to job search this past winter. We were very selective in where we applied. In fact, I only applied to two schools and then other types of jobs in Raleigh. One school said “no, thank you” and the other- Elon (I fell IN LOVE with this school and all the people I met) wouldn’t let us have Carter live with us, so we had to politely and regretfully turn them down. And then, I have not heard anything from any of the jobs I applied to in Raleigh. I was bummed. I am bummed. Even though I knew both schools were long shots (mostly because of Carter) I was still super disappointed. I may or may not have even cried a little.

I REALLY thought it was time for us to go home. And I am not going to lie, I’m still struggling with the fact that we are not. Ever since we found out that we will be here longer than we planned I keep wondering what message the Lord is trying to send me. Is it- His plan isn’t my plan and I need to truly rely on Him more? I prayed through the entire process, but is that enough? I just don’t know.

I mentioned in another post awhile back that I was excited to be working with Ivan and Anthony next year. And since I will be staying now, I am. I don’t remember how much I shared with you all before about issues I had going on at work a while ago. I don’t think I told you anything actually. Well, the department decided to do some restructuring in my building and the connecting one- Pearson. Currently, there is:
- one Area Director for Mahoney (me)
- one Area Director for Pearson
- and one Assistant Area Director for both

The Assistant Area Director for both buildings just doesnt work- they get pulled in too many directions. So the department decided to invert the model. So next year there will be:
- one Area Director for both
- one Assistant Area Director for Mahoney
- one Assistant Area Director for Pearson

The Area Director for both will be more in charge of behind the scenes items and the Assistant Area Director 's will do more building specific tasks. This clearly impacts my position as Area Director in Mahoney, AKA it won’t exist next year. Well I was presented with a few options, prayed about it, sought out some counseling, and talked long and hard with John about it. We decided that we would job search- hence part of the reason for the above, but also stay where we are in the meantime. Meaning, I would be the Assistant Area Director in Mahoney and take a demotion in title. I’m sure I don’t have to spell it out for you, but I wasn’t that thrilled. However, John and I decided this would be the best decision for us right now. I wouldn’t lose any benefits and we wouldn’t have to move. I like my job in Mahoney, I love my RAs, and I will get to do most of what I do now. Ivan will be the AD for both buildings and he is a great guy, so again, I am excited about next year. I even became at peace with all the changes. Recently, as we have started to plan for next year, I have realized that it may be a little harder to deal with than I realized. However, I’ll just pray about it and know He has me here for a reason.

I really think He is trying to teach me humility and to be thankful for what I have while I have it. There are just some times that it’s so hard to be appreciative of things when you feel like you are being wronged. BUT I guess there is another lesson- to understand that He has a reason for everything that happens to us.

I guess my take away from all of this is to 1) truly rely on God more 2) appreciate what I have, even if I don’t understand why I am where I am 3) understand that God had a plan for me and He only wants what is best for me. All of that can be so hard to remember when life gets in the way, I guess I just have to work on not letting life get in the way and let Him lead me through it all.

So again, I ask that you help us pray for direction, pray that we are shown what our purpose is here, and pray that we learn to be thankful what we have while we have it- even if we don’t understand it.