Lesson Learned

Yesterday was an awful day. It's never a good day when you find out people are talking about you behind your back. It's embarrassing too. Extremely. I've always known people here can be quite inconsiderate, that's just how people are in Miami. But I guess I never really understood how awful some people can be.

I am ashamed to say it, but it's so easy to get caught up in gossip at work. Its the people I work with AND live with. But when you find out people are doing it you- boy that hurts. In a way, I am glad that I had a wake-up call. I am glad what people were saying behind my back wasnt that bad at all- and really I am lucky. It's really not even a big deal-apparently I dont dress professional enough sometimes. Well, thats an easy fix! I just wish someone would have told me earlier. Glad that was all people are saying behind my back, to be honest.

BUT it still hurts knowing people have been saying things behind my back. It's a real self-esteem killer. My ego took a huge hit yesterday. I was thinking about this last night and I am just as guilty of listening to others talk about others too. I dont do anything about it and I even chime in. I wont be doing this anymore. I dont want to be the source of someone else's pain. ESPECIALLY, when it's people you think you can count on. Lesson learned.

A few years ago a girl that I was really close to gave me a jar of bible quotes. The bible quote are on little pieces of paper and when I am having a bad day, I like to pull some out and read them. Well I did that this morning looking for some comfort and found some really good ones. Of course this was one I pulled out "You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgement on someone else, for at whatever points you judge the other, and you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgements do the same things" Romans 2:1- YEP. I've done the same thing. Shame on me. I need to post that one on my computer screen to always have in sight! I dont want to be apart of any of that kind of talk anymore.

The first bible verse I pulled out was 2 Corinthians 3: 12-14 and it reads "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." I pulled this one out and reached in for the next one and pulled out the same exact verse. Think God was trying to tell me something? I do. I dont want to forgive these people. Especially, the ones I thought were decent friends. I can just picture them all sitting around and laughing at me (I'm sure it wasnt this bad, but this is what my mind does to me) and I just want to smack them all. Actually, when I found out yesterday I wanted to do worse. Not very Christian of me, I know, but being honest I had some pretty mean thoughts about all of them. BUT if I want to follow the Lord, I know I have to put it all behind me and forgive. For goodness sakes, I am guilty of it too. What right do I have to be mad?

It's hard though. I feel like trust is gone. I guess that's why it's important to lean on the Lord and not on myself. This verse also helps "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an enternal glory that far outweights them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4: 16-18. I got a lot out of this one. 1) the Lord forgives me. He forgives me for not focusing on him and for gossiping about others. 2) I need to turn my eyes to Him all the time. And nothing else matters. 3) He'll renew me from this pain.

Gossip lesson learned. Forgiveness lesson learned. Now I just need to remember a few things:
1) "A joyful heart makes a cheerful face." Proverbs 15:13
2)"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in ALL circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

I think I'll start doing a verse of the week to focus on- or something like that to help keep me more focused :D AND it's time to go shopping...