Reality

Back in Miami I started work the Monday I got back. It was weird seeing all the UM people again. It made my trip to Raleigh seem even more like a dream. I know I looked a mess too. It was good to see everyone though! That first week back was filled with getting ready for RA training and trying to catch up on what I missed. SO MUCH NEEDED TO BE DONE! I was a bit overwhelmed.

On top of all the work stuff- our permanent apartment was ready for us to move in to- so we had to start the moving process AGAIN. I did forget to mention in my last post though that one of my fabulous coworkers picked me and John up from the airport and had the keys to our new apartment for us. She was really excited to see it with us and so we went to show it to her. and guess what- both of my Leslies and Nate (all coworkers) had set up our apartment for us and moved some of our stuff over. I mean, they put together our bed, made our bed, put together our stools and coffee table, moved over all our kitchen appliances, and had dinner for us. I really dont have words for how great they are. Everything just keeps reinforcing that this is where God really wanted us to come. just AMAZING :D

That last week of getting ready for the RAs was great because I finally felt ready and like I knew what I was doing. Everyone was great about catching me and being there for me. I did realize during this though that now that I wasnt at home doing a million things, there was a lot of time to still think. I realized that I am having a difficult time dealing with my dad's death. I know it's normal. Some days I just want to stay at home and cry but I know I cant- too much to do. I know my dad wouldnt want me to mope either. It's still hard though. I found that I talk about him a lot. I dont mean to- it just comes out. I really hope I am not making people uncomfortable, but it's nice to talk about him.

I think my director of housing was worried about me. He keeps asking if I am doing okay and is being SO nice. I told him I was having a hard time with it and he talked to me some about it. He also gave me a book called "How to Survive the Loss of a Love." SO thoughtful of him. He also provided me with other resources if I needed them. I mean I know I've said this over and over but the people here are just so amazing and I am SO lucky. It means so much to me to have such a loving staff during such a hard time like this.

I know all of this will get easier but in the meantime, some days are really hard and others are good. I have an amazing support system and that really helps. John is always great, always asking what he can do for me. I also talk to my family all the time now- which is also great. I am a very lucky person, with tons of loving people :D

I will heal, I know it. It will just take time.